My AAA Story: How Workplace Racism Ruined Me

Written By Malcolm Xavier of The Lakers Room

N word with a hard R hit me in the chest like Ray Lewis, even over a zoom meeting. Flashbacks of me being accosted by a group of white kids on bike (looked like horseback in the moment) when I was young hurling a word I never heard used with such vitriol, next flashback being of a 10 year old boy with a gun in his face being called the same word as he went door to door seeing who's weeds he could pull (let's just say I retired from lawn service that day). The next flashback started and I caught myself - why am I feeling like this in a middle of a AAA road service dispatch training class, my brain was moving as fast as priority lockout service when a baby is in the car. Did I hear what I thought I did? I had to be mistaken. Nope, this caucasion woman (heavy set in her 60s with a short haircut) - Sandra Duarte Clarke, I shall never forget the name just said the N word about as loudly and proudly as one cheers for their child at high school graduation. Context matters so I'll add plenty. This got pretty traumatic for me and I'm still picking up the proverbial pieces.

(Me at a AAA Ruby Bridges Volunteer event at Brighton Elementary School pictured in the back center with the purple hat in between the two women in white T-Shirts)

OCCURENCE

This zoom meeting took place in late 2024 as we were switching to learn dispatch (something at the time, I was extremely excited about - for a fleeting moment). There was three off us in a breakout room on zoom. It consisted of myself, Sandra and Shayna. (AAA is a high pace environment where one can be accosted for no reason at any moment by a member in a panicked roadside emergency which is understandable, that's where you'd expect the unprofessionalism to end). The three of us sat in this breakout room myself being the least tenured of the three, but I showed so much promise early my manager Dani Deluc placed me into an early training class to learn dispatch - cool. Sandra is talking, myself and Shayna are listening and she has a story for us about one of her experiences in working for AAA. This story starts and ends with one sentence and I'll type that out VERBATIM "I was once called an Effing NIGGER" - when I say verbatim I mean word for word, lucky enough someone witnessed it all or it'd be my word. The silence that followed was palpable. My first question in my head was did she just say that? Immediate second question was why did she just have the respect to not say "fuck" but threw Nigger out like a slider from Randy Johnson. STRIKE. Except I'm the one that got hit and this is where the flashbacks and trauma began. It was NOT over.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

After work that day, I had what would be one of the worst nights of my LIFE. Couldn't sleep, the only thing on my mind was "why did that lady say that" and WHY was it having such a profound effect on me. I've heard the dreaded N word with an ER more times than I can count and with more directed energy, just never in what I considered a protected environment. I was shaken to the core and didn't know if I should even say anything, luckily Shayna already did. I however, did not know that. I continued with the training for a few days under as much trauma and flashbacks as one with my history could assume. Everytime I seen her face I was uneasy and after a few days although I felt like a snitch, I chose to say something in hopes of making it through the training. I pulled a Supervisor Zachary Williams who was in the training and explained the situation which he told me had already been told to him by Shayna and that upper management was aware, which made me even more anxious and infuriated because even though they knew absolutely nothing had been done. The worse part came next- I requested through the training leader Gio - never forgetting his name either, to not be placed in any more breakout rooms with Sandra after what happened and explained my trauma to him and what I'd been going through since it happened and was told that everything would be ok and he had my back. For me even though I felt she probably should be reprimanded in some form - that would be enough. The next day however in the training ran by Gio, my first breakout room was with no other than Sandra Duarte Clarke. That day I lost all faith in AAA and the trauma came back TEN fold! Simply looking at her in the zoom meeting I was asking myself a repeated question "Why couldn't she say the F-word but spoke the N word fluently, with the hard ER". I couldn't take it and went to back to my Supervisor Dani to explain what happened. She was furious, she seen me on the verge of tears barely unable to talk as I explained to her my life and what I've been through. Dani reached out to Gio who wanted to have ME removed from the training class instead of Sandra. He reasoned that no one knows what Sandra has been through. Can you fucking believe that? He said we can't understand the things she's had to deal with, that was the most unbelievable response to the situation. Dani however with her authority made sure that didn't happen and had Sandra moved to a new training class and I thank her until this day for being an advocate, or at least trying. The worse part came in the following 17 months I worked for AAA, mentally I never recovered and the position I was once so hopeful for and promotions I was working hard to be considered for suddenly felt like an endless dark journey down a desolate hallway, it was tough to even show up and have a good day.

FALLOUT

Sandra Duarte Clarke was promoted with a raise and moved on to the AAA travel department. I however simply never recovered and am still dealing with the ramifications until this day mentally . I was terminated by AAA due to attendance issues which I simply won't refute. However, check my attendance before and after the incident and you'll see just how real trauma can be and how it can affect the human psyche but they never even asked if I was ok. I was on edge every day at AAA and a lot of the time unable to overcome and make it in no matter what reason I made up. The real issue was 90 percent of the time I felt failed and unprotected and like I may be working for racists. I felt that not only did they not care about what I was dealing with and the seriousness of the hostile situation, no matter how it was holding me hostage mentally. They just wanted more performance which I still gave - check those numbers too. Some will ask well why did you stay? Simple. I have a family to take care of and was in no position to give up the little stability I had in this treacherous economy. Once I was informed I was being let go though, a relief sprung over me. Not only will I tell my story but I will be proud to advocate for my people, as Martin Luther King said darkness can only be driven out by light - so I'm shining one on my own story. Which was dark at the time and still is affecting me financially to go along with the mental burden, but getting it out is my first step back to normalcy. I don't know if I'll bounce back soon, but I WILL bounce back. The more important victory is no longer am I dying inside everyday, simply telling my story alone allows me to live.